In this post I share the top three tips I believe parents should teach their teens for good mental and emotional health in an ever-changing world. Advice for parents, from a parent (not a doctor, counselor or trained professional – just a mother who cares).
I remember being a teen, it was several decades ago but I remember it well. It was amazing! It was equally awful! The 1990’s – the decade of girl power music, Michael Jordan and ‘Clueless’ the movie. At the time, being a teen seemed very confusing. Looking back – compared to now, we had it pretty easy really.
We are approaching the mid 2020’s – we’ve just come off the back of a worldwide “pandemic”. It’s now normal for teens to carry the ‘world’ in their pocket in the form of an iPhone. And apparently there are 72 genders (and counting). If you’d told me any of this when I was a teen, I would never have believed you.
As parents in an ever-changing world, we need to see the mental and emotional health of our teens as deeply important. We need to be their ‘safe place’, where every topic is worth discussing, nothing is off limits and honesty rules. I encourage you to be the clearest voice in your child’s world, after all – if you don’t teach them… guess who will?!
Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6
Three Mental and Emotional Health Tips for Teens
Tip 1 – Feelings aren’t Reliable
Feelings are markers, they are indicators of when things are going well or when something is wrong in our lives. It’s important as parents to remind our teens that their feelings can lie to them! Sure, I understand it’s important to acknowledge our children’s feelings. And allow them a safe place to discuss their deepest feelings and emotions. But we also need to teach them how to decide if those feelings are based on reality.
The media and marketing companies are very good at targeting emotions to sell their products or stories. Fear especially! The fear of missing out, the fear of not fitting in, the fear of what might happen – it’s bombarding our screens every day. Remind your teen of this acronym for F.E.A.R. = False Evidence Appearing Real. I definitely believe we all have a little voice that warns us of real danger, it’s important to heed those warnings. However, teaching our kids to keep feelings in check with reality is vital to their mental and emotional health.
Tip 2 – Life’s too short to make all the mistakes, learn from other peoples
When our kids, especially teens, make mistakes – it’s our job, as the parent, to help them learn from those mistakes. After all, consequences are the best teacher when used in an appropriate way.
Right from young we have taught our kids that it’s going to be a pretty rough ride if they make ALL the mistakes. Watching others, their choices and the consequences of those choices helps us learn too.
Encourage your teens to be attentive to the consequences of other people. Be honest with them about your own mistakes and what you learnt from them. Discuss their friend’s mistakes in a compassionate way. Ask them if they think they made a good choice or if there was something different they could have done. By doing this, parents can lovingly protect their children from a lot of unnecessary heartache or struggle.
Tip 3 – Your worth NEVER changes
Your child is irreplaceable in your world. They are precious and we love them beyond measure. Imagine how much more they are loved by their creator, God.
Unfortunately, the world can be harsh, words can burn. Worldly worth can be given and taken in a heartbeat.
Teach your teens that their worth never changes in the sight of God. Show them, if you allow your worth to be in the hands of others, they can take it away at any moment. Sure, it’s fun to be popular. It’s nice to fit in. But true worth – never goes away. No matter what you do or don’t do, what you achieve or don’t achieve, what you have or don’t have – YOU are precious, treasured and cherished. You are worthy because you are You!
For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Psalm 139:13
Top 3 Tips for Teens – Mental and Emotional Health – in a Nutshell.
- 1. Your feelings may be unreliable
- 2. You can learn from other people’s mistakes
- 3. Your worth never changes
Blessings on the journey, xxS
